Sega says it made a 'life-sized figure containing Sonic's DNA,' and I have a few questions

This year marks the 35th anniversary of Sonic the Hedgehog, and Sega is pulling out all the stops as it celebrates its successful three and a half decades of international brand marketing: There's exclusive Sonic merch from limited edition fashion collabs, a "musical odyssey" featuring live orchestral renditions of Sonic music, and—of course—a life-sized statue of Sonic featuring a fluid-filled chamber allowing fans to gaze lovingly at his DNA.

Wait, hold on.

No, yeah, I'm reading that right.

Announced yesterday with a reveal video on YouTube, Sega has unveiled the "Sonic the Hedgehog DNA Figure," which it describes as "a life-sized figure containing 'Sonic's DNA'"—a claim that would already invite a number of unsettling questions without the company's haunting deployment of quotation marks.

According to Sega, the figure was created in collaboration with the Lom Baby project from Transeeds, a self-described "science collective comprised of artists, engineers, scientists, and other members" specializing in "bio art." Claiming to employ "cutting-edge biotechnology," Lom Baby's previous works include the exhibition of "dragon meat" at Tokyo's National Art Center and recreating the T-Virus from Resident Evil in partnership with Capcom, a thing that is apparently fine and cool to do.

With that same biotechnology, Sega says "the essence of Sonic—who has raced through the ages—has been brought into the real world as 'DNA.'" Unfortunately, that does little to answer some fundamental questions I have about this whole process. For example, what methods does a bio art collective utilize to secure the genetic information of a fictional hedgehog? Or did they fabricate a chimeric simulacrum of Sonic's genome from assembled components? What's in Sonic's genes?

Details

That last bit, at least, I have an answer for: Based on what's shown in the video, Sonic's genome evidently includes components like "velocity cells," "exploration DNA," and a "boost system." You know, like hedgehogs have.

To complete this act of blatant scientific hubris and genetic idolatry, Sega and Lom Baby have placed Sonic's synthesized DNA within an emerald, which has itself been submerged in a milky suspension inside the translucent thoracic cavity of a chrome Sonic effigy. After all, if we couldn't see the DNA jewel, how could we be expected to believe Sonic's genetic essence was actually in there?

"The DNA encapsulated within the Chaos Emerald symbolizes that 'Sonic's core' will endure, never fading, into the future," Sega says. Great!

Unfortunately, if you want to admire Sonic's DNA in person, you'll need to travel to Japan to do it. The Sonic the Hedgehog DNA Figure exhibition begins on Tuesday, June 23 at the Tokyo Sega Store.